The colloquium is here and I have prepared a docu-film to present tomorrow. I was planning on doing a live talk but didn’t want to after the recent presentation fiasco. I also figured that nobody else would do it live. So I have made my film and , through rigorous trial and error, provided a voice-over that just about explains my action-research. I was fairly pleased with the outcome, albeit with a few snags and glitches. That is until I sneaked a peak at the other submissions from my group. It woulkd appear that alot of time has been spent making some pretty slick vids, either that or the rest of the group are so far advanced with the technology. My piece now looks like the turd I was talking about giving a polish to in my prvious entry.
Confused again.
A surreal air has enveloped the college. It might just be me but the whole place seems to be in melt-down, and people (including me) are passively watching it happen. I tried to do a specific piece of work today and found that not a single computer i tried (a dozen or so) in the college was able to offer me use of the appropriate software although clearly housing it in the “dock”. Still trying to burn a “clean” DVD for fucks sake.
I feel I need to make extra effort to dissipate my frustrations for the remaining weeks as I envisage a heap of confrontations around every corner. Save it for the ring.
I am finding it extremely difficult to move on from the appalling presentation 2 weeks ago. I have requested a tutorial with Andy but it seems next week is the next available slot and this seems an age away when I am almost blinded by the quandry to the point of inertia.
I feel more and more inclined to just toe the line and get the course behind me, and at the same time feel I should in no way compromise the piece after having worked so hard to create it with integrity.
Am I a nightmare? Do I just moan about everything? I feel disliked by the group, or is that my own projection?
Usually I just wouldn’t give a shit.
I dont feel anything around me at the moment is in any way usual.
Seems that random pixels are the least of my problems. I am writing this amidst feeling somewhat taken aback by the reaction to my presentation to the group yesterday in preparation for the forthcoming colloquium. I possibly made 2 mistakes:
1.by playing my film in its entirety
2.by not showing it projected onto a large screen
I feel I have been met with a surprising amount of arrogance. Being “advised” to amend aspects, shorten one part, include more of another, split it up into a tryptich, I’m left wondering whether subjectivity plays a part in this environment. The comments made by some of the group, unfortunately out-weigh the positive criticism that may have been put forward. I believe I may have become a little too defensive at points, but this piece is the culmination of many hours of graft, enormous research and commitment, and to be told that it may be a good idea to try this or to try that, without any reference to it being a good piece or a bad piece leaves me feeling patronised and somewhat affronted. After comments that suggested last years show was a shambles and that this year we shouldn’t risk “embarassing” ourselves suggests an apalling arrogance. Why did noone else have any work to show? Are they so comfortable in themselves? I accept that I may be so delluded that I think I have made a good piece, or possibly even a great piece, when in fact all I have done is to polish a turd, but its not a turd that anyone else has produced, researched, lived, and therefore suggestions of how it should be changed are simply red flags to a rather cantankerous and stretched bull.
Apparently I still have time to make the changes. After-all, this is all I have to focus on right now, isn’t it? No, it is not.
So, my dillema. I still believe I have produced a substantial film that accurately represents my studies, research and creativity. I think it more than stands up as a linear piece of film-making. The decision making process was a considered one. Which leaves me feeling that any change I make to the film, however small, is to compromise its integrity.
My desire, as ever, is to achieve as good a mark as is possible. Might this be out-weighed by my need to produce my art sans compromise?
My guts are telling me to play to the gallery and compromise. This, I suspect, will be where I achieve the higher mark , but where I fail myself as an artist.
I still have plenty of time to make the changes.
I dont want to make any changes.
I bet I will tho’.
Fuck this place.
So, now I can start to acclimatize myself to my newly earned status of veteran of the ring. The experience of entering the ring and fighting competitively is far too profound an experience to simply reduce to a few jottings here, so I am toying with the idea of a piece of written work, a short story, if you like, so as to do it justice. I lost.
My issue with the visible pixels, or bare patches in the my piece, i have discovered, are happening during the burning process. This was discovered by re-burning the same version and seeing that the “patches” were in a different place within the film. After several attempts to burn a “clean” copy, I am reduced to thinking that there is no such thing. I am elated that I dont need to change the piece itself but frustrated at the randomness of dvd technology. After talking to Nick Buer and Katrin, I have been told about burning with idvd from a file prepared through “Compressor”(mpeg2) software, rather than as a quicktime conversion and Roxio Toast. So this will be my next venture.
I would like to be blogging more frequently as I find this a solid way of maintaining a stream of consciousness. At this time though, I am struggling to keep myself aware of all that needs to be done. Hence the blog is suffering neglect. I shall endeavour to keep at it but may allow myself to be distracted by the write-up of the fight. This I will then post on the blog with images and footage, possibly even as an aspect of the final piece.
I’m not sure how i can improve upon the quality of the film in my previous post, so it shall remain in its hungover state.
I have noticed in the thick of the action that some pixelation occurs that is very subtle on all the screens I have viewed it (that is to say that I haven’t noticed it on all but one of the screens) except when played on tha large monitors in Peckham road, where their presence is noticable as the small patches of bare pixel are bright green. On black and white footage, this is not a good look. Still convinced that this is the version I think works best, i shall have to tweak and research until its clean.
But moving on, I am going to further explore with a couple more versions, possibly introducing some new footage and maybe also further obscuring the existing shots while emphasizing the audio further.
time is running out. I have 11 days now before my fight. Little exists in my mind other than pugilism right now. I cant learn any more in 11 days, I cant get any fitter in 11 days. All I have left to do is to keep loose, not get injured and watch the count-down. All this training, all this research, all this stress and anxiety (along with bruising, losses of confidence, dare i say depression), for what will be a maximum of 6 minutes of actual boxing.
2 years of study, stress, poverty anxiety, depression, inner brutality……..all for 9 minutes of film. and a masters degree. hopefully
I have just completed version 2 of my final piece. For my first version, I tried out several ideas f clip placement and layering of audio. I began like this fully expecting to go through several versions before reaching something that for me properly represented my research. I was pleasantly suprised to find that after version1 I was able to quite clearly see what it was I had to do to create something fairly close to the intended piece. On studying version 2 I am aware that there is some fine tuning to be done on the audio (hiss reduction and levels etc), and a tweak here and there with the visuals but I feel confident that this piece works and speaks in the right language. I will post this version on the blog shortly…..I will continue to experiment with further versions to back up my feelings to date, and you never know…I have also had a couple of trial screenings, as I desperately want this film to be shown on a large screen (considering that this building houses several large screens),just to see it shown “proper”. First I tried in the MADA studio and it looked good, although the audio was a little harsh, probably down to the quality of the sound system in that room. Then I tried it in a large seminar room. The visuals were superb but the audio was absolute shite. I queried this with some staff and was told that the speakers are probably “shot”. But I did start to panic that the problem was with the film itself. I will try to tweak the audio anyway, but I have just tried it in the main lecture hall and everything was spot on.My fear is that sods law will apply, and that come the show, I will be forced to show it with a dodgy sound system. I do not want this, but can I do anything about it?
I thought this was an amazing piece of film. Being an absolute motor racing obsessive, it for me, is a delight, but possibly more pertinently, the editing of the audio is superb. Probably never been done before. The visuals were shot with LeLouch at the wheel of his V12 Mercedes around the streets of Paris, very early in the morning. The audio is from a V8 Ferrari. The editing of the gear changes etc are spot on, very clever! Watch for yourself……. ”C’etait un rendezvous” Claude Lelouch
I find I’m prone to over-deliberation right now, which is to say that I could ruminate endlessly over the possibilities for expansion with my final piece, when I am realising that all the ingredients are probably in front of me. There will always be room for variation and experimentation, but if I am to hold true to the original plan, then I must roll up my sleeves and knit things together. The only angle on my work that I have not seen is one which looks at the whole piece, or at least a version of it. So that is where I am at now.
With my forthcoming fight, I now have 4 weeks to complete the training, when I will finally step into the ring and be judged as a fighter and nothing else. I have learned, and become skilled in the movements, defences, attacks and management of the ring, to allow me to survive the bout. Experimenting with something new dosen’t factor in. I must piece together what I know and remain calm. That is how I shall legitimise my place in the competition. That is how I shall complete my piece.
My experiments with some of the filters have proved fruitless, although, having played with them has revealed to me that the unfiltered footage actually does stand up. I am yet to experiment with the blur filters, so we shall see…
I am formulating a story board of sorts and beginning to form a timeline for the footage, but also one that exists within the screen. having shown some clips to Andy, I am feeling a little more trusting of my initial impressions of the imagery.
